#Wouldn't you love somebody to love #
#You better find somebody to love #
#Love #
##[Continues]
[Duke Narrating] 1965. The great San Francisco acid wave.
#When the garden flowers ##
I recall one night in a place called the Matrix. There I was-
- ##[Continues] - Mother of God! There I am.
Holy fuck.
Uh, clearly I was a victim of the drug explosion...
a natural street freak just eating whatever came by.
[Voice Extremely Slowed Down] Does anybody want some LSD?
I got all the makin's...
right here!
[Echoing] All I need is a place to cook.
I decided to eat only half of the acid at first...
but I spilled the rest on the sleeve of my red woolen shirt.
[Voice Slowed Down, Echoing] What's the trouble?
[Voice Slowed Down, Echoing] Well, all this white stuff...
on my sleeve...
is LSD.
[Duke Narrating] With a bit of luck...
his life was ruined forever...
always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all his favorite bars...
men in red woolen shirts...
are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.
##[Pop: Mid-Tempo]
Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas.
Has it been five years? Six?
It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again.
San Francisco in the middle '60s...
was a very special time and place to be a part of...
- but no explanation... - # You can make the mountains ring #
no mix of words or music or memories...
can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive...
in that corner of time in the world, whatever it meant.
# Though the bird is on the wing #
#And you may not know why #
There was madness in any direction...
- # Come on, people, now # - at any hour.
- #Smile on your brothers # - You could strike sparks anywhere.
#Everybody get together #
- # Try to love one another # - There was a fantastic universal sense...
that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.
And that, I think, was the handle.
#Some may come and some may go #
That sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil.
Not in any mean or military sense- we didn't need that.
Our energy would simply prevail.
We had all the momentum.
We were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave.
- So now, less than five years later... - ##[Continues]
you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west...
and with the right kind of eyes...
you can almost see the high-water mark...
that place where the wave finally broke...
and rolled back.
- # Try to love one another right now ## - [Waves Gently Crashing]
##[Electric Piano]
##[Piano Continues, Rock Band Begins]
- [Doorbell Buzzing] - # Want some whiskey in your water #
- Room service! - #Some sugar in your tea #
# What's all these crazy questions they're askin' me #
- Good morning, sir. - # This is the craziest party there could ever be #
What do you want, man? What do you want?
- Room service. - Get out.
- #Mama told me not to come # - You're in the wrong room. Get the fuck out!
- I've got a gun. It's not mine, really. - #Mama told me not to come #
- Uh, the - the - the bill. - What?
- Will you... s-sign for it? - All right. Give it. Hurry up.
Don't move, man. Be very still.
There you go.
Say nothing to no one, man.
# Open up the window Let some air into this room #
[Duke Narrating] The decision to flee came suddenly. Or maybe not.
- # That cigarette you're smokin' 'bout scared me half to death # - Maybe I'd planned it all along,
subconsciously waiting for the right moment.
- #Mama told me not to come # - The bill was a factor, I think...
- because I had no money to pay for it. - #Mama told me not to come #
Our room service tabs had been running somewhere between 29 and 36 dollars per hour...
- # That ain't the way to have fun, son # - for 48 consecutive hours.
- Incredible. - # That ain't the way to have fun ##
How could it happen?
But by the time I asked this question, there was no one around to answer it.
That rotten attorney of mine, Dr. Gonzo, was gone.
He must have sensed trouble.
Hmm? Ohh.
A "Z"?
Panic.
It crept up my spine like first-rising vibes of an acid frenzy.
- [Bell Dings] - All these horrible realities began to dawn on me.
[Duke] Oh, fuck.
Here I was...
alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs.
No cash, no story for the magazine...
and on top of everything else, I had a gigantic goddamn hotel bill to deal with.
I didn't even know who'd won the race.
- Maybe nobody. - [Arguing]
How would Horatio Alger have handled this situation?
Stay calm. Stay calm.
I'm a relatively respectable citizen.
- Multiple felon, perhaps, but certainly not dangerous. - [Whistles]
- [Engine Revs] - Taxi!
Luckily I had taken the soap and grapefruit and other luggage out to the car earlier.
Now-
it was only a matter of slipping the noose.
Hey! Here, take this. All right.
- Mr. Duke! Mr. Duke! - Oh, shit.
- We've been looking for you. - The game was up. They had me.
Many fine books have been written in prison, huh?
- Sir? - What?
Um, this telegram came for you.
Actually, it's not for you. It's for somebody named, uh, Thompson.
But it says, "Care of Raoul Duke." Do you - Do you -
- Does that mean anything? - Yes, yes, it means a lot. Thanks.
- Yeah, I checked the register for this man Thompson. - [Engine Revs]
We don't show him, but I figured he might be part of your team.
- He is. Don't worry. I'll get it to him. - Yeah.
Um, what confused us was, uh...
Dr. Gonzo's signature on the telegram from Los Angeles when we knew he was right here.
Right. You did the right thing.
Never try to understand a press message. About half the time, we use codes.
Especially with Dr. Gonzo. See ya.
- Um, tell me. - [Tires Screech]
When will the doctor be awake?
- Awake? What do you mean? - Well, um...
my manager, Mr. Heem, would like to meet him.
It's nothing unusual, um -
Mr. Heem likes to meet all of our large accounts...
put 'em on a personal basis, you know?
Just a chat and a handshake. You understand.
Of course, but if I were you...
I would leave the doctor alone until after he's eaten his breakfast...
because he's a very crude man.
Jesus God!
- No! - [Tires Screech]
Um, but he will be available, huh, maybe later this morning?
It's actually from Thompson, not to him.
All right? Now, I've got to go. I've gotta get to the race.
- B-But there's no hurry. The race is over. - Not for me.
Well, um - Let's have lunch!
Righty-o, man. Righty-o.
- #Now, the bricks lay on Grand Street # - Jesus.
Bad waves of paranoia. Madness. Fear and loathing.
Intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out.
The weasels were closing in.
I could smell the ugly brutes.
Do me one last favor, Lord.
Just give me five more high-speed hours before You bring the hammer down.
Just let me get rid of this goddamn car and off this horrible desert.
# Oh, Mama #
#Is this really the end #
- # To be stuck inside of Mobile # - Oh, you evil bastard.
- # With the Memphis blues again # - This is Your work. You better take care of me, Lord.
- If You don't, You're gonna have me on Your hands. - [Siren Wailing]
- Pull over! Pull over! - Hey!
Good morning. How are you? All right, man. Doing very well.
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop.
Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side.
This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart.
Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.
But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you're about to turn right.
This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk.
It'll take him a moment to realize he's about to make a 180-degree turn, at speed.
But you will be ready. Brace for the "G"s.
Fast heel-toe work.
[Siren Continues]
[Siren Stops]
Hi. How are you?
Just what in the hell did you think you were doing?
I wanna know. Let me see your license.
Oh, yeah, of course. Right here.
Oh, my gosh.
It's me.
May I please have that?
I knew I was fucked.
See you have two cases of beer, a basket of grapefruit...
stack of T-shirts and towels, light bulbs.
- Do you realize what you did when you drive like that? - Yeah, I know. I'm guilty.
I understand that. I knew it was a crime. I did it anyway.
Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal. Look at me.
You have a strange attitude.
Maybe.
You know, I have a feeling you need to take a nap.
There's a rest area just up ahead.
I'd like you to go up there, pull over and get a few hours' sleep.
That's not gonna help me.
I've been awake for too long. Three or four nights, maybe. Can't even remember.
I go to sleep now, I'm dead for 20 hours.
What are you carrying two cases of soap for, son?
I wanna stay clean.
No.
Here's how it is.
What I put in my book, as of noon...
is that I apprehended you for driving too fast.
- I advised you to proceed to the next rest area. - ## [Humming]
Stop!
I advised you to proceed to the next rest area -
your stated destination, right?
And take a long nap.
Do I make myself clear?
Well... how far is Baker?
I was sort of hoping to, I don't know, stop there for lunch.
It's not in my jurisdiction.
City limits end 2.2 miles beyond the rest area.
Can you make it that far?
I'll try.
I've been wanting to go to Baker for a long time. Yeah. Heard a lot about it.
Excellent seafood.
You know, I'm thinkin', a guy with your kind of mind...
ought to try the land crab.
- Excellent seafood. - Land crab.
All right. Why not?
Thanks for the tip.
Look at me in the eyes.
Everything all right?
May I have a little kiss before you go?
I'm very lonely here.
# Oh, Mama #
# Can this really be the end ##
I felt raped. The pig had done me on all fronts.
And now he was going off to chuckle about it on the west side of town...
waiting for me to make a run for L.A.
Why, yes, Officer. Of course I'll take advantage of that rest area.
And I can't tell you how grateful I am for this break you wanna give me.
Get a grip, man.
If I boom straight for L.A., he'll bust me for sure.
No. This was not the time for a showdown.
This was Death Valley.
[Loud Grunt]
Oh, fuck!
Sweet Jesus, it's him.
Oh, my God!
## [Nervous Humming]
[Engine Stalling]
Shit! Come on, you fucking bastard.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. I've got to go. I've got to-
## [Humming Resumes]
Well, they've nailed me, goddamn it.
I'm trapped in some stinking desert crossroads called Baker.
I don't have much time, man. The fuckers are closing in.
- They'll hunt me down like a fucking beast. - [Gonzo] You sound a little paranoid.
I need a fucking lawyer immediately!
[Gonzo] What are you doing in Baker? Didn't you get my telegram?
What telegram, you worthless bastard? I'll cripple your ass for this.
You brainless scumbag, you're supposed to be in Vegas.
I rented a suite at the Flamingo.
You're supposed to be covering the National District Attorney's conference.
- I made all the reservations. Everything is arranged. - [Bird Cawing]
Now, what the fuck are you doing out there in the middle of the desert?
Nothing. Never mind. It's all a big joke.
I'm actually, uh - I'm poolside at the Flamingo right now...
talking through a portable phone some dwarf brought out from the casino.
Yeah, I have total credit here. Don't come anywhere near this place, you bastard.
Foreigners aren't welcome here.
Well, this is how the world works.
All energy flows according to the whims of the Great Magnet.
What a fool I was to defy him.
I was going back to Vegas. I had no choice.
I had to get rid of the Shark.
Too many people might recognize it, especially the Vegas police.
Luckily, my credit card was still technically valid.
Ten grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects.
The rear windows leapt up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond.
The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters...
that I would never understand.
If the pigs were gathering in Vegas...
I felt the drug culture should be represented as well.
And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn...
on one Las Vegas hotel...
and then just wheeling across town and checking into another.
Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America.
Why not move confidently into their midst?
- Welcome to the Flamingo Hotel, sir. - [Whimpers]
- [Grunts, Clears Throat] - Sir?
Yeah, hi. Right. Okay.
#Let me stay in your arms #
#I'm addicted to your charms #
# You're gettin' to be a habit with me #
#I used to think your love was something that I #
# Could take #
- # Or leave alone # - My arrival was badly timed.
#But now I couldn't do without my supply #
#I need you for my own ##
##[Continues Faintly]
[Man] This here model is one that we had to use...
when we took on them little peckerheads down there at Kent State.
This baby here-
I'm a police chief from Michigan.
Look, fella, I have explained to you.
I have this postcard which says that I have a reservation in this hotel.
I'm very sorry, sir, but you're on the late list.
- So your reservation has been transferred to... - It's okay.
which is just out on Paradise Boulevard.
We've already paid for our goddamn room!
It's actually a very fine place of lodging, and it's only 16 blocks from here.
It has a pool, sauna, steam.
You listen to me, you filthy little faggot!
I want a manager down here now! Now!
Because I'm sick of listening to your dog shit!
- [Continues Yelling] - I am... very sorry, sir.
- Get off of me! Get away from me! - Can I call you a cab?
Sure, and I'll call you a cocksucker!
[Duke Narrating] Of course, I could hear what the clerk was really saying.
Listen, you fuzzy little shithead!
I've been fucked around in my time...
by a fairly good cross section...
of mean-tempered, rule-crazy cops...
and now... it's my turn.
So fuck you, Officer. I'm in charge.
Hey, listen, I really hate to interrupt...
but I wonder if I could slide on through and get out of your way.
The name is Raoul Duke. I think my attorney made the reservations.
Duke, Raoul.
- [Bell Dings] - Certainly, sir.
My bags - My bags are out there in that white Cadillac convertible there.
Maybe somebody could bring it to the room for me.
Oh, yeah, uh, let me get a quart of Wild Turkey...
- [Arguing Continues] - two-fifths of Bacardi...
- some ice for the room, and let's see - - You just calm down!
Shit, let's try some lime chunks. What do you think?
I say okay.
- You don't worry about a thing. - Now, calm down.
You don't hesitate to call me - Sven.
All right, Sven.
- [Bawling] - Thank you very much.
- You -You - - I know, I know, I know.
It's hideous. You're gonna be fine, though. You're doing well.
I'll see you later. Wait. Don't touch it.
- [Crying] - Good night. Pardon me. Bye, Sven.
- [Loud Bawling] - Look what you did! Look what you did!
Goddamn you, we wouldn't stay in this hotel if you begged us!
#Magic moments #
# When two hearts are caring #
- #Magic moments # - [Door Hinges Creak]
- #Memories we've been sharing ## - Home, sweet home.
- Whoa. What kind of sick shit - - [Yelling]
Oh, shit! [Yells]
- Shit. What the fuck? - [Grunting]
Stop, stop, stop.
Ow! She's biting my leg off! You degenerate pig. Please!
- [Grunting Continues] - Can't be helped.
- My fucking leg! - That's "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."
Lucy, be cool, goddamn it.
Remember what happened at the airport, okay? Come on.
No more of that, okay? That's my client, Lucy.
That's Mr. Duke, the famous journalist.
He's paying for this suite, Lucy.
He's on our side.
He loves artists.
Lucy paints portraits of Barbra Streisand.
Right?
Um, I drew these from TV.
Really.
[Gonzo] She came all the way down-
- What's the name of that town? - Montana.
Montana. Just to give these portraits to Barbra.
We're goin' over to the Americana tonight to meet her backstage.
[Duke Narrating] I desperately needed peace, rest...
sanctuary.
I hadn't counted on this:
finding my attorney on acid and locked into some kind of preternatural courtship.
Well...
they must have, uh, brought the car around by now.
So...
why don't, uh...
ou-yay and... I-ay...
o- gay and, uh, et-gay the...
uff-stay...
out of the unk-tray.
Absolutely. Yeah.
Let's get the stuff.
We'll be right back, Lucy.
- Give me a kiss? One kiss, one kiss. - No.
- No. No. - One kiss. Why not?
Okay.
Don't answer the phone.
God bless.
[Hinges Creaking]
[Sighs] Well, what are your plans?
Plans?
- The child in the bedroom. - Oh, Lucy.
I met her on the plane.
Yeah. She's a religious freak.
I gave her a cap before I realized -
Jesus, she's never even had a drink.
[Duke] Well, it'll probably work out.
We can keep her loaded and then peddle her ass at the drug convention.
Yeah, she's perfect for this gig.
These cops'll go 50 bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang-fuck her.
We can set her up in one of these backstreet motels...
hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, and then turn these fucking pigs loose on her.
Hell, she's strong, man. She'll hold her own.
Jesus Christ, I knew you were sick...
but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff.
- You filthy bastard. - Straight economics, man. This girl's a godsend.
Shit. She could make us a grand a day.
That's ugly, man. Stop talking like that.
Well, I figure she can do about four at a time.
If we keep her full of acid, that's more like two grand a day, maybe three.
[Sinister Chuckling]
Hold on, man.
What if I just jump on you and beat the dog shit out of you?
Would that make you feel any better, you filthy bastard?
All right, listen to me.
In a few hours, she'll probably be sane enough to work herself...
into some sort of towering Jesus-based rage at the hazy recollection...
of being seduced by some kind of cruel Samoan...
who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room...
and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body...
with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.
- [Woman Gasps] - That's so ugly, man.
- Fuck, truth hurts. - That's -Argh!
- Yeah. - Argh! That's argh!
- Argh! - Argh?
- Argh! - Argh.
I wanted to help her, man.
Well, you'll go straight to the gas chamber for this one.
Even if you manage to beat that, they'll still send you back to Nevada...
for rape and consensual sodomy.
No, she's gotta go.
Shit.
It doesn't pay to try to help somebody these days, huh?
[Siren Wailing In Distance]
Let's go.
Yeah. Americana Hotel? I need a reservation.
For my... niece.
Look, I want her treated very gently. She's an artist and -
Fuck off. She might seem a trifle high-strung.
She's doing her masters thesis on, uh...
well, Barbra Streisand.
- It's time to meet Barbra. - Last name?
I'd rather not say. My brother's in politics. Yeah, you understand.
I felt like a Nazi, but it had to be done.
- [Clapping] - Yeah, yeah, righto. Okay, yeah. Bye.
# Yummy, yummy, yummy I got love in my tummy #
- #And I feel like loving you # - [Horn Honking]
#Love is such a sweet thing Good enough to eat thing #
#And it's just what I'm gonna do #
[Duke Narrating] Lucy was a potentially fatal millstone on both our necks.
- Hurry the fuck up! - There was absolutely no choice...
- but to cut her adrift... - Jesus Christ. Take your time!
and hope her memory was fucked.
Here's an extra ten bucks, buddy. Make sure she gets there safe.
## [Impatient Humming]
- [Gasps] - [Sighs] That's that.
Hey, man, take off slowly. Don't attract attention.
- # Yummy, yummy, yummy I got love in my tummy ## - ## [Humming]
Let's find a good seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon.
I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
[Retching]
- [Grunts] - Oh, no, man. We're gonna be late.
- We gotta go. - [Panting]
Goddamn mescaline.
Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
[Man] I welcome you...
to the third National D.A.'s Convention...
on Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs.
And now, without further ado...
the man who will define this cancer eating at the heart of America...
Dr. L. Ron Bumquist.
I saw these bastards in Easy Rider, but I didn't believe they were real.
Not like this, man, not hundreds of them.
They're actually pretty nice people once you get to know them.
Know them? I know these people in my goddamn blood.
Don't say that word around here. You'll get them excited.
- You're right. - The most efficient way for us to do this...
is for each one of us...
to try and attempt...
to imagine what it is like inside...
- of the possessed mind of the addict. - Hmm?
For example...
a dope fiend...
refers to the reefer butt...
as a "roach"...
because...
it resembles a cockroach.
What the fuck are these people talking about?
You've got to be crazy on acid to think a joint looks like a goddamn cockroach.
You will notice that I have distinguished...
four- four distinct states of being...
in the cannabis or marijuana society.
They are cool, groovy...
hip and square.
Seldom, if ever-
- Too crazy, man. He's too crazy. - [Grunting]
They'll shoot you down. What a fucking nightmare.
If he figures out what is happening...
then he can rise one notch...
and become hip.
And then if he can convince himself...
to approve of what is happening...
then he becomes groovy.
Groovy.
And then, after that, he can actually raise himself...
to the rank of cool.
He can become one of those...
cool guys.
[Man] Dr. Bumquist.
Do you think the anthropologist Margaret Mead's strange behavior of late...
could be explained by a private marijuana addiction?
Good question.
- [Murmuring] - I'm not really sure I can answer that.
But what I can tell you, sir, is if Margaret Mead...
at her age...
smoked grass...
she'd have one hell of a trip.
[Hysterical Laughing]
One more layer of deviance to the woman.
This is fuckin' bullshit.
I'll be out in the casino.
[Hysterical Laughing Continues]
Down in front, man!
[Giggling] Thank you very much. Thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you for having me. - Projector, please.
- Excuse me. - All right.
##[Dramatic]
## [Continues]
[Male Narrator] Know your dope fiend.
Your life may depend on it.
You will not be able to see his eyes because of Tea-Shades...
but his knuckles will be white from inner tension.
And his pants will be crusted with semen...
from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim.
He will stagger and babble when questioned.
- He will not respect your badge. - [Woman Moaning]
The dope fiend fears nothing.
He will attack for no reason, with every weapon at his command...
- including yours. - Cheers.
- Beware: Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict... - Pardon me.
- should use all necessary force immediately. - Sorry. Pardon me.
One stitch in time on him will usually save nine...
[Echoing] on you-
Oh, God. Oh, God. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
- Oh, God. Oh, God. - [Phone Ringing]
[Gonzo Moaning]
Yeah?
Yes, Mr. Duke, hello. You have one message.
- Call Lucy. - [Retching Sounds]
- The Americana Hotel, room 1600. - Oh, fuck.
- [Dial Tone] - Hello?
- Lucy called. - [Retching Continues]
- [Toilet Flushes] - What?
- Lucy called. - What?
- Lucy called, man. - [Phone Ringing]
- [Ringing Continues] - [Metal Gate Slams]
Those two men in the dock, they gave me the LSD...
and they took me to the hotel.
I don't know what they done to me, but I remember...
it was horrible.
- [Duke Groans] - They gave you what?
LSD.
[Judge] Castration!
Double castration!
- Where's my.357? - Who the fuck knows, man?
- [Car Horn Honking] - You can't leave me alone in this snake pit.
You bastard, what did you do with my.357?
- This room is in my name. - Well, tough titty, man.
Okay, goddamn it!
You're right.
She's my problem. I'll call her. I'll get her off our backs.
- Hey, it's gone too fucking far, man. - Well, I'll take that into consideration.
- Relax. - Relax!
Let me handle this.
[Siren Wailing In Distance]
- Where are my shoes? - The Americana Hotel.
- What did you do with my goddamn shoes? - Room 1600, please.
As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle...
in my shaving kit.
You won't need much.
Just a... tiny taste.
Let's have it. Ah, there it is.
- What is this shit? - That stuff...
makes pure mescaline seem like ginger beer, man.
- Adrenochrome. - Adrenochrome? Hmm.
- [Phone Rings] - [Gasps]
[Rings]
[Quietly] Hello.
- Hi, Lucy. God bless. - Hmm?
Yeah, it's me.
What? Hell, no. I taught the bastard a lesson he'll never forget.
What? No, not dead.
But he won't be bothering anybody for a while.
Yeah, I left him out there.
I stomped him. I pulled all his teeth out.
[Duke Narrating] I remember thinking, "Jesus...
what a terrible thing to lay on somebody with a head full of acid. "
But we have a problem.
That bastard cashed a bad check downstairs and gave you as a reference.
They'll be looking for both of you.
Yeah, I know, Lucy, but you can't judge a book by its cover.
Some people are just basically rotten.
Anyway, the last thing in the world you wanna do is call this hotel again.
- They'll trace the call, put you straight behind bars. - [Babbling]
No, I'm moving to the Tropicana right away.
Hmm. [Babbling]
I'll use a different name. I'll let you know what it is.
[Gasps]
I gotta get off.
Probably have this phone tapped, baby.
- Yeah, I know, it was horrible, but it's all over now. - [Banging]
Oh, my God. There's someone at the door.
- [Squealing] - There's someone at the door.
Christ! Hey!
No! I'm innocent! It was Duke!
It was Duke! Lucy! Lucy!
[Yelling, Indistinct]
[Screaming]
Don't put that thing on me. Aaaah! Aaaah!
[Screaming Continues, Echoing]
Whoo. Oh.
Well - [Sighs]
That's that.
- [Gurgling] - That's the last we should be hearing from Lucy, man.
[Exhales]
She's probably stuffing herself down the incinerator about now.
You know what we need?
We need some opium.
[Gurgling Continues]
I remember slumping on the bed.
His performance had given me a bad jolt.
For a moment, I thought his mind had snapped...
that he actually believed he was being attacked by invisible enemies.
But the room was quiet again.
Where'd you get this?
Never mind. It's absolutely pure.
What kind of monster client have you hooked up with this time?
Satanism freak.
I think there's only one source for this stuff-
the, uh, adrenaline gland...
from a living human body.
- I know. The guy didn't have any cash to pay me. - ## [Dramatic]
He offered me human blood, said it would take me higher than I'd ever been in my life.
- I thought he was kidding... - Oh.
so I told him I’d just as soon have an ounce or so of pure adrenochrome...
or maybe just a fresh adrenaline gland...
to chew on.
I could already feel the stuff working on me.
The first wave felt like a combination of mescaline and methedrine.
Maybe I should take a swim, I thought.
Yes, sir.
They nailed this guy for child molesting.
He swore he didn't do it.
"Why should I fuck with children?" he said. "They're too small."
- [Whining Sound] - Christ, what could I say?
Even a goddamn werewolf is entitled to legal counsel.
He might have picked up a letter opener and gone after my...
pineal gland.
- You know? - Yeah.
- Crazy. - Why not?
Shit. We should get some of that.
Just... eat a big handful and see what happens.
Some of what?
[Grunting, Sniffs]
Extract of pineal.
Sure, that's a good idea.
One whiff of that stuff will turn you into something out of a goddamn...
medical encyclopedia, man.
Beautiful fucking tits.
Man, your head will swell up like a watermelon.
- Probably gain about a hundred pounds in two hours. - Right!
Grow claws, bleeding warts.
Yes.
And then you'd notice about six huge, hairy tits...
swelling up on your back.
Fantastic!
You'd go blind.
Your body would turn to wax.
They'd have to put you in a wheelbarrow.
And when you scream for help...
you'll sound like a raccoon.
[Whimpering]
Man, I'll try just about anything...
but I'd never in hell touch a pineal gland.
Finish the fucking story, man!
What happened? What about the glands?
Jesus, that stuff got right on top of you, didn't it?
Look at your face. You're about to explode.
Maybe you could just...
[Groans] shove me into the pool.
Man, if I put you in the pool right now, you'll sink like a goddamn stone.
You took too much, man. You took too much. Too much.
[Gurgling]
Don't try and fight it.
You'll get brain bubbles, strokes, aneurysms.
You'll just wither up and die.
- [Duke Muttering] - [Martin Luther King]... and continue killing innocent people!
[Echoing] ... allow the last hopes for peace and freedom of millions of people...
to be suffocated.
So tonight, to you...
the great silent majority-
Sacrifice and sacrifice...
[Echoing] and sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice...
and sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice.
- [Continues Echoing] - [Moaning]
[Woman] #I hear the cottonwoods whispering above #
- # Tammy's in love # - [Moaning]
##[Continues]
What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play that song right now, at this moment?
# Tammy, Tammy #
When I came to...
the general back-alley ambience of the suite was so rotten...
- so incredibly foul. - ##[Continues]
How long had I been lying there?
All these signs of violence.
- What had happened? - [Insect Buzzing]
There was evidence in this room of excessive consumption...
of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 A.D.
[Coughs, Groans]
Oh, ah, Debbie.
Thank God.
Oh, Debbie. Hmm? Look.
What kind of addict would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds?
Would the presence of junkies account for all these uneaten french fries?
These puddles of glazed ketchup on the bureau?
Maybe so...
but then why all this booze...
and these crude pornographic photos smeared with mustard...
that had dried to a hard, yellow crust?
These were not the hoofprints of your normal God-fearing junkie.
It was too savage, too aggressive.
- Put your hands where I can see them. - What? What?
Jesus God, man. Huh?
Put your hands where I can see them. Put your hands where I can see them!
[Groans]
Grim memories and bad flashbacks.
Get a grip.
Maintain.
How many nights and weird mornings had this shit been going on?
[Urinating]
- Something ugly had happened. I was sure of it. - [Retching]
Who is that? Oh. Shit, that's me.
- [Muttering] - [Woman Screams]
- Help me! [Shouting In Spanish] - What the fuck?
- [Gonzo Yelling] - Oh, shit.
[Woman Yelling]
- You're under arrest! - She must have used a pass key.
I was polishing my shoes in the closet when I noticed her sneaking in, so I took her.
- What made you do it? Who paid you off? - Nobody! I'm the maid!
- Bullshit! You're just as much a part of it as they are. - Part of what?
The goddamn dope ring. You must know what's going on in this hotel.
Why do you think we're here?
I know you're the cops, but I thought you were just here for the convention.
I swear. All I wanted to do was clean up the room.
- I don't know anything about no dope. - Come on, baby.
Don't try to tell us you never heard of the Grange Gorman.
I swear to Jesus I never heard of that stuff.
Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she's not part of it.
I swear I'm not. I swear.
In that case, maybe she can help.
Oh, yes, I help you all you want.
- I hate dope. - So do we.
I think we should put her on the payroll, see what she comes up with.
- You think you can handle it? - What?
One phone call every day.
Don't worry if it doesn't add up. That's our problem.
Y-You'd pay me for that?
You're damn right we would.
But the first time that you say anything about this to anybody...
you will go straight to prison for the rest of your life.
- What's your name? - Alice.
Prove it!
- Okay. - Just ring Linen Service and ask for Alice.
All right, Alice.
You'll be contacted by Inspector Rock, Arthur Rock.
He'll be posing as a politician, but you'll have no problem recognizing him.
That's right. Inspector Rock will pay you in cash...
- $1,000 on the ninth of every month. - Oh, Lord!
I'd do just about anything for that.
- You and a lot of other people. - Come here.
The password is: "One hand washes the other."
The minute you hear that, you say, "I fear nothing."
- Say it again! - I fear nothing!
Get the fuck out of here, okay? Oh, yeah, listen.
Nice meeting you.
Don't bother to make up the room.
Just leave a pile of towels and soap outside the door exactly at midnight.
That way we won't have to risk another one of these little incidents, will we?
- Whatever you say, gentlemen. - Thank God for decent people.
- [Duke On Tape] Say it again! - [Maid] I fear nothing!
Terrible gibberish. Splintered memories looming up out of the time fog.
- [Tape Rewinding] - Just press play.
[Duke On Tape] This is it, the American Dream.
Shit, we're sitting on the main nerve right now.
Yeah, don't get me started.
The owner always wanted to run away and join the circus when he was a kid.
Now the son of a bitch owns the circus.
Ah, man, a real license to steal.
Oh, yeah. The American Dream come true, man.
Pure Horatio Alger.
Yeah. Welcome to the happy place.
[Grunting]
Listen, let's get down to brass tacks here.
How much for the ape?
[Laughing] How much you got?
How much do you think you'd take for the ape? Just wait here. I'll be back.
- Madness. It made no sense at all. - [Tape Rewinding]
I desperately needed the facts.
[Duke Yelling] Oh, God! Oh, God! Little old person coming through the looking glass!
- ## [Hard Rock On Tape] - What the fuck is going on?
Where's the ape, man? Where's the ape?
Forget about it. He attacked an old man.
Bit off the head of the bartender, then the cops came and took him away.
- [Yells] - [Man] Is that your car?
- What's the bail? I want that ape. - There's too many zoos!
- Someone should stop them! - You poor fools just don't understand.
This car is property of the World Bank. That money goes to Italy.
You can't put on a circus without a tent.
- The top is completely jammed. - You're right.
There's something wrong with the motor.
We're all riders of the storm.
- Where are you, you fucking monkey? - You can't do that!
God Almighty! You people voted for Hubert Humphrey...
and you killed Jesus.
There was every reason to believe that we'd been heading for trouble...
that we'd pushed our luck a bit too far.
Oh, gosh! God.
Right. Uh -
The possibility...
of physical and mental collapse...
is now very real.
No sympathy for the devil.
Keep that in mind.
Uh, buy the ticket...
uh, take the ride.
- [Weeping] - ##[Electric Guitar]
Hello. You folks want to buy some heroin?
[Crying Continues]
[Crying] Hey, honkies! Goddamn it!
Pull ahead.
I want to sell you some pure fucking scag!
Cheap! The real stuff.
That's right. I just got back from Vietnam.
[Crying]
Scag.
I wanna sell you some pure fucking scag.
Pure fuck!
Now hear me, you bastard! Pull over! I'll kill you!
- Pull over! Come on! - [Tape Audio: Fast Forward]
Oh, shit. Oh, oh.
##[Slow Jazz-Pop: Woman Singing]
Okay. Let's see here.
##[Continues]
The mentality of Las Vegas is so grossly atavistic...
that a really massive crime often slips by unrecognized.
North Vegas is where you go when you've fucked up once too often on the Strip...
- [Shouts] - and when you're not even welcome in the cut-rate downtown places.
The North Star Coffee Lounge seemed like a fairly safe haven from our storms.
No hassles, no talk.
Just a place to rest and regroup.
I wasn't even hungry.
There was nothing in the atmosphere of the North Star to put me on my guard.
[Banging On Plate] Psst!
Two glasses of ice water with ice.
She looked like a burnt-out caricature of Jane Russell.
She was definitely in charge here.
He did it very casually...
but I knew that our peace was about to be shattered.
What was that?
What is this?
- It's a napkin. - Don't give me that bullshit.
I know what that means, you fat goddamn pimp bastard!
That's the name of a horse I used to own, ma'am.
- What's wrong with you? - [Narrating] The question mark was emphasized.
You listen to me, you son of a bitch.
I gotta take a lot of shit in this place, but I don't have to take it off no spic pimp!
Anybody that knows anything knows that.
- Go on! Pay your check and get the hell out of here! - [Gasps]
You want me to call the cops? I'll call the fuck-
[Duke] Oh, shit.
[Duke] Fuck.
You wanna call the cops?
[Coughs]
How much is that lemon meringue pie?
Her eyes were turgid with fear, but her brain was functioning...
- on some basic motor survival level. - Thirty-five cents.
- How much is that lemon meringue pie? - Thirty-five cents.
Whoo! What a waste of talent.
No, honey, I mean the whole pie.
The whole pie.
- Hmm? - [Gasps]
What, three?
Three? Four?
Five? Hmm?
Call it five.
I'll be in the car.
[Quiet Sob]
[Gasps]
[Engine Starts]
The sight of the blade had triggered bad memories.
The glazed look in her eyes said her throat had been cut.
- She was still in the grip of paralysis when we left. - [Sobbing]
[Engine Revs]
[Tires Screeching]
It was all over now.
We'd abused every rule that Vegas lived by.
Burning the locals, abusing the tourists, terrifying the help.
The only chance now, I felt...
was the possibility that we'd gone to such excess...
that nobody in the position to bring the hammer down on us...
could possibly believe it.
Fifteen minutes to get my attorney to the airport.
Could we make it?
Christ!
No! Oh, fuck!
- Fuck. - Whoa, shit! Whoa, shit!
Oh, God. Oh, God. You son of a bitch!
Oh, God.
- [Gonzo] You're going the wrong way. - [Duke] Fuck off, fat boy.
Stop! You fucker!
Take off right here. Take off right here.
[Gonzo] Goddamn it. We're lost.
What are we doing out here on this godforsaken road?
The airport's over there.
Goddamn it! It's over there.
- I've never missed a plane yet. - [Tires Screeching]
[Horn Honks]
[Grunting]
Hold on!
All right. I'm gonna drop you right next to the plane.
Fuck you. I'm gonna have to take the blame. They'll crucify me.
- Right here, right here. - Ridiculous, man.
Just say you were hitchhiking to the airport, and I picked you up.
- You bastard. - Get out.
- Hey, hey! - Hey, listen.
Don't take any guff from these swine.
If you have any trouble, remember:
You can always send a telegram to the right people.
Oh, yeah, explaining my position. Some asshole wrote a poem about that once.
Probably good advice, if you have shit for brains.
[Wheezing Laugh]
[Coughing]
There he goes...
one of God's own prototypes.
A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production.
- Too weird to live, and too rare to die. - Ugh!
# There you stood on the edge of your feather #
We're all wired into a survival trip now.
No more of the speed that fueled the '60s.
That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip.
He crashed around America, selling "consciousness expansion"...
without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait...
for all those people who took him seriously.
All those pathetically eager acid freaks...
who thought they could buy peace and understanding for three bucks a hit.
But their loss and failure...
is ours too.
What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole lifestyle...
that he helped create.
A generation of permanent cripples...
failed seekers...
who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the acid culture:
the desperate assumption that somebody...
or at least some force...
is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.
There was only one road back to L.A.
U.S. Interstate 15.
Just a flat out high-speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo.
Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, straight into frantic oblivion...
safety, obscurity.
Just another freak... in the freak kingdom.
#I was born in a cross-fire hurricane #
#But I howled at my ma in the driving rain #
#But it's all right now #
#In fact it's a gas #
#But it's all right #
#I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash It's a gas, gas, gas #
#I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag #
#I was schooled with a strap right across my back #
#But it's all right now #
#In fact it's a gas #
#But it's all right #
#I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash It's a gas, gas, gas #
#I was drowned I was washed up and left for dead #
#I fell down to my feet #
#And I saw they bled #
# Yeah, yeah, I frowned #
#At the crumbs of a crust of bread #
# Yeah, yeah, yeah I was crowned #
# With a spike right through my head #
# Yeah, yeah, yeah #
#But it's all right now #
#In fact it's a gas #
#But it's all right #
#I'm Jumpin’ Jack Flash It's a gas, gas, gas #
#Jumpin’ Jack Flash It's a gas #
#Jumpin’ Jack Flash It's a gas ##